The Church of Shreiking Cripes and the Lazy Driving Slobs

I was musing about what LDS stands for...

I mean, as an acronym — or the initials that stand for some three letter title of some sort. Here's a few forkloads of them, and please put-on a snazzy arm-punch shield and activate your dichotomy detector with false dilemmas enabled. Everyone does, of course, have the right to choose which of these to stand for. If you're taking too many on the chin, please stop wearing your mentality on your sleeve.

  • (Fat)* Lazy Driving Slobs
  • Lazy Dilapidated Stinkers
  • [[Help: ? =T=T=T= compatible with life ?]]
  • Lady Dipping Swingers
  • Legally Dyslexic Students
  • Lovers of Downhill Skiing

... and I'm still hoping that it all stands to reason and that many others think over what civilization they choose to belong to. Is it sustainable beyond my own lifetime? Do I even care? Spend it on smoke and fuel, or clean wind and steel rail? Unveil this city from the smoggen shroud that mires her like a cesspool rank with petrol laden cuckah.

Instead of wallowing up to your hocks in your own car-cuckah, you could be breathing clean air in a wind-generated electric transportation age. Is the LDS Hercules up to the task? Can he divert the cleansing winds into the sail arms flailing guardian of clean tilth? Can that electrically powered residential service trolley system be built, to begin with, by design, with enough capacity to carry all of what is now carried by petrol-snorting pollution carking p-u's?

[Ob. Draft: Opposite "Lazy Driving Slobs", I want to hear one or two that are more aligned with wind and solar energy powered residential service trolley installed and maintained by the citizens of =T=T=T= than with driving stinkers.]

* “FLDS” is “Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints”, IIRC. You can think of fat as passing for healthy, a symptom of affluenzia, or as wasted leg fuel, and your choice of self-righteous highway.


The (LDS) Word Of Wisdom

The LDS Church has issued a “Word of Wisdom” that strongly suggests that members abstain from the use of caffiene, tobacco, and alchohol. It's not really about “religion”; it is really about health:

The Word of Wisdom is a basic law of health, in other words, it is a good starting point. Add to this the “body is a temple” scripture found in the Bible and we begin to have a clearer understanding of the Church's emphasis on being vigilant of what we ingest and on the wellbeing of our bodies. The standard works have many scriptures admonishing us not to defile the mind or the body. “The promises associated with the Word of Wisdom are considered both temporal and spiritual. The temporal promise has been interpreted as better health, and the spiritual promise as a closer relationship to [Goodness].”

Ok, so they are telling you that if you overwhelm your body's little ecosystem with booze, smoke, and crank-water, it will eventually break down and you'll suffer a decline in your health, right? Ok, so then tell me, why do Mormons who won't drink, smoke, or use caffeine think it's just fine to drive automobiles? I see a few obvious contradictions here. Can you see them?

Somebody told me that they believe in reproducing prolifically, to ensure that one will “enter the kingdom of heaven” or some-such typical Christian dogmatic nonsense. On the one hand, they seem very concerned about sustainable civilization and personal and social health and well-being, yet at the same time, they will drive around town in their p-u's, happily polluting the air, happily supporting an industry that blatantly poisons the health of the very planet we live on — the living thing we are a part of. The auto and oil industry promotes contention for fuel resources, and that contention creates conditions that bring about warfare to “secure” more of that resource.

That shows little concern for the health of the planet beyond their own lifetimes, right? It also shows little concern for maintaining peace on earth. It seems to me that they, in fact, don't really care for anything but their own personal comfort in this lifetime. If that's the case, why bother to reproduce? Caring for children is a huge burden, and hardly conducive to maximizing one's own personal ease-of-living... Except that maybe they are producing cheap labor for the empire? Following the ancient Roman “lex pop-ewe-la poop-ewe-lie”?

I saw a car the other day with a license-plate frame advertising “Hinckley Auto.” So, is that the same Hinckley that was the LDS Church president? Is that an indication that they are in truth rotten to the core? Maybe it explains why I was arrested when I attempted to speak to Mormons leaving Conference regarding the =T=T=T= idea? (Really it's probably not why; I'll tell that story differently in a future blog.)

Think about why people will smoke and drink. A primary reason is that they see it as normal behavior, since they see other's around them, in their social circle, doing it. Ever heard that joke that asks “How do you keep a Mormon from getting drunk on a fishing trip?” The answer is, of course, “Bring two Mormons.” Or, how about that old adage about “the very thin edge of a long, long wedge”?

Let's see some commentary on this, folks. What do ewe oil think?