Invasion of the Snuggy-Snatchers

A Snuggy Snatcher getting high.
I was just thinking about how one would explain to a little boy why his penis has a "turtleneck" when his father's doesn't.

I think I'd say, pointing to his akroposthion,  "Jeepers, kiddo! That's your snuggy. Daddy doesn't have a snuggy because there was an evil regime in power during the year he was born who strategically posted snuggy-snatchers at every birthing facility in the nation..." And so, in spite of the fact that my family was ostensibly Catholic, my snuggy was snatched off. It was also cut out of the picture in every anatomy and physiology textbook available to G.P. They tried to disappear it; to make it never have existed. If you don't believe me, then visit your local libraries, and look for the male prepuce in the anatomy textbooks you may or may not find there.

Nature's Design Altered.
Snuggy Snatchers are quite vile beasties. They get high on the suffering of others. It gives them a rush in their gonads when they bite off a baby's snuggy. That's why they do it. They are very dangerous and especially clever at making up lies to explain away their Pederastic wrongdoings. They hang medical diplomas on their walls and pretend to know more about it than your mother... who had probably never been allowed to see one. Like wolves in sheep's clothing, these green meanies dressed as warm fuzzies will take the babies away to secret soundproof chambers where nobody can hear them scream. They strap the baby down on an infant sized crucifix (known as a Circumstraint) with Velcro straps, and only after locking themselves securely into that closet, do they grab the baby's snuggy with their evil implements.

My apologies to the artists who created the works shown here, that I photographed through the window of a downtown Salt Lake City art gallery, for I have not formally asked for their permission to publish photographs of their artwork. I hope they are okay with my having posted these, and with my interpretation of the beasties they had displayed that day.